Well, things seem to be settling down a little. Emma got to come home from the hospital yesterday. When I told her she could go home she asked, "And I won't be sick anymore?" and I told her, "No, you still have diabetes," and she said "Oh man!"
Basically what happened is that about a month ago she started being really thirsty and asking for water all the time. I couldn't even drive in the car without taking water for her or she would cry saying how thirsty she was. So of course she started going to the bathroom all the time - she would wake us up three times during the night to go and she started having accidents all the time too. She would also wake up at night crying and couldn't tell us what was wrong and would just cry and cry. Sometimes she would say she was hungry. Apparently since she wasn't making any insulin she couldn't absorb the glucose from the food she was eating. So basically she was really starving and she did lose a couple of pounds. She was also really crazy emotionally. Jonny told me she was just like me - as if! =)She has her 4 year well child check up this week, so I thought I would ask him about all these things then.
A couple of days before I had S Emma started complaining that it hurt when she went potty, so I thought maybe she had a bladder infection, but she didn't complain all the time so I just thought I'd wait and watch her a little.
So the day after I had S when the pediatrician came to check on her in the hospital, I mentioned that Emma had been complaining and he told me to bring her in that day. She had an appointment Thursday afternoon and our plan was that Jonny would take her to the doctor, then go to my parent's house and pick up M and then come pick me up at the hospital and we'd all go home. I had all my stuff packed up and was just about to change S into her little going home outfit when Jonny called. He just said, "Emma has diabetes and they are checking her into the hospital right now."
Things were pretty tough when she was there. Jonny stayed with her all the time except coming home to shower. I am more crazy in love with him than ever after seeing how amazing he was with her. One night I called him from home to check on them and when I asked what they were doing he said, "Well, we just built a tent and now we are in it accessorizing Ariel." How cute could he be? It was hard not to be there myself, but I needed to be with S. I would go to the hospital every day to meet with the diabetes educator. She taught us every day for 3-5 hours. It was so hard trying to pay attention and stay awake after just having a baby! But they taught us all about how to check her blood sugar and do her insulin. My parents and sister were amazing - they would come and play with her while we had classes so we could pay attention to the teacher. Jonny's mom came on Saturday and has been so wonderful too.
I have had a couple of panic attacks trying to figure out how much insulin to give her - we figure it out for each meal before she eats it. Hello. How do you figure out what a four year old already finicky eater is going to eat? So this morning I made her breakfast and gave her a dose of insulin based on what she asked for and then she refused to eat anything. I just started freaking out (I'm sleep deprived and hormonal - what's a girl to do but freak out?) but finally she ate it. I also cracked an egg this morning and put it into the carton all over the other eggs. I'm a lot crazy right now. I kind of cry a lot. I know she is going to be fine and that soon this will all seem so easy, but right now it is still hard for me. Jonny is such a boy and keeps saying, "You just do what you've got to do." I'm doing it, I just cry while I do it.
Today I took Emma to preschool and all the kids started asking her what happened. She held her little hands out to her side and said, "Well, I just have to get shots all the day." I am so grateful her teacher isn't freaked out by having her there. Her confidence makes me feel more confident too. Tonight Emma asked me, "Mommy? Why did my blood get sick?" Those little comments just break my heart. At the same time I see the tender mercies of the Lord throughout this whole experience and I am so grateful.
Our little S has been an absolute dream. They induced me on Wednesday. Jonny dropped me off at the hospital at 6am and then took Emma and M to my parent's house and came back to the hospital. They started me on pitocin at 7:30am, broke my water at 8:30am and she was born at 10:30am. I pushed through two contractions and she was there! What a breeze (thanks to the epidural!). I was seriously giddy afterwards. It just all seemed too easy. She has been so sweet and quiet and a great sleeper. I hope she stays just like that - I don't think I could deal with a colicky child right now!
I can't thank you all enough for your thoughts and prayers. I felt kind of drama queen-esque putting all that out there on here but I really felt the need for your support and have felt your prayers. Thank you!
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