My kids could watch TV all day. One day when they were whining for another cartoon I jokingly told them if they watched too much TV they would get chunky buns and squishy minds. Emma thinks that is hilarious and now if she's been watching a lot of TV she'll back up to me and tell me, "Mom. Feel my buns. I think they are getting pretty chunky."
This morning she declared, "I guess it's just going to be a chunky buns day." And I knew she was right. She's been fighting a cold for a week and last night she started with a fever and came to my room at 3:30am telling me "Mom, something is really wrong with me." Poor little love, she has a super red throat that is bleeding and covered in white patches. Naturally we went right in to the doctor this morning and her strep test was negative. Why oh why couldn't it have been strep?! You get some antibiotics and you're good to go in 24 hours. I got the whole, "It's a bad virus...blah blah...drink fluids...blah blah."
So we sat and watched TV all the live long day and have been trying to get her BG under 250 all day as well. I got dangerously close to falling off the self pity cliff today. You know, "She has so much to deal with already. Why does she get sick all the time? Maybe she wouldn't have gotten diabetes as soon if she didn't get sick so much when she was little. I don't know if I can do this the rest of our lives..."
Then I realized I was overreacting, probably due to the sleepless night last night. Diabetes is crappy crappy crappy, but I have my girl. She is here with me and that is what matters. My cousin has a little boy just Emma's age who had a stroke following an illness and he is unable to walk, talk, or eat on his own. He is in a wheelchair with a feeding tube. Thinking of him saved me from falling of that cliff today.
Despite feeling grody she reminded me tonight as I was putting her to bed, "Mom. You're supposed to change my pump site." Oh. Good thing the 5 year old is around to keep me in line, eh?
I'm going to have to use the chunky buns thing with my kiddos, I love that! I hope Emma is feeling better very soon.
ReplyDeleteThe chunky buns thing is cute :)
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry she is not feeling good. I dislike the "virus bla bla bla" spiel too.
I hope she feels better soon... btw ~ I am glad you found me on FB. Have you seen the "D Moms together" page?? Heidi just recently started it :)
Love the "chunky buns" too!!! I am totally gonna use that with my kids. I hope she is feeling better today. I too...think...when I am about to fall into my D tunnel of darkness and despair...I think about those who have lost their children and situations like the one you described in your post. We all have our crosses to bear for sure. xoxo
ReplyDeleteShe is not the only one who feels like she has chunky buns...I'm there too lol! She is just too cute!! I think we all have that time of "depression", sadness,anger, etc. The lack of sleep, the balancing act of everything D, and the overwhelming worry makes me crazy sometimes. Normal feelings for anyone dealing with this beast of a disease, but then we snap out of it when we look at the smiles and hear the laughter out of our children who are actually fighting the battle.
ReplyDeleteI remember taking my little diabetics to the doctor when they were sick, and praying for an ear infection, so that there would be medicine that could make it all better in a day or two. I'm sorry she's sick, but you are so right, we are blessed beyond measure. Hope she feels better very soon!
ReplyDeleteI thought you were writing this post about me!!! I hope she gets better soon. I know it's hard. I've thought many times - if I'd kept her in a home care setting and not sent her a preschool/daycare, she might not have gotten sick, she might not have gotten that virus that pushed her over the edge and caused her pancreas to up and quit. Don't beat yourself up. It sucks. Plain and simple. But you're doing great. Hang in there. It will get better. It has to.
ReplyDeleteSo true that we start a pity party moreso when things get rough and we are TIRED. :( But ya know what? We all apppreciate Diabetes vs other conditions when we stop and think for a minute! Hope she feels better soon!
ReplyDeleteI'm catching up on your blog and just saw this post. I tell my kids that TV will turn their brains to mush. I need to add the bit about chunky buns!
ReplyDeleteWe need to have perspective with D, don't we? It's such a difficult road we travel 24/7/365 that it's easy to fall off that pity cliff, especially when we're tired. Hearing about your cousin's little boy certainly puts things into perspective for me today!